Friday, June 4, 2010

Im just gonna make up my own meaning ...

So, I loove to watch Glee. I dont always blog about it but, I really do like that show. Mostly because I am a huge fan of musicals... and that show is like one big musical (where I know most of the songs).

Well, while watching Glee in the last few weeks I fell in love with their rendition of Lady Gaga's Poker Face. I LOVE that song. So I got Hubby to find me the song so I can play it over and over again. (He is such a sweetie to indulge me) .. so then I got to thinking... what is Lady Gaga really saying in this song? So I went to read the lyrics. And then I wanted to know what the lyrics meant.. So I googled that too, and I found a clip where Lady Gaga said what it means... Now I am no prude, but I was totally disturbed by her response. I mean, I know that artist can mean whatever they want in their songs, but I was totally not prepared for that response. (In case u didnt click the links, Gaga said that she uses her "poker face" while having sex with her ex-boyfriend, but she was really thinking about a woman. If you didnt know, Gaga is bisexual) seeeeee, I was stunned.

I really think that I wasnt prepared for that response because of the scene where they sang the song in Glee. Rachel had just found out the the teacher from their rival school (Vocal Adrenaline) is her mom. The teacher thought that she and Rachel would have this great relationship, but the chemistry just wasnt there so the teacher was saying that she didnt want to have a relationship with Rachel.... soo, Rachel wanted to sing one song with "her mom." They sang Lady Gaga's Poker Face. For me the song was so perfect for the scene because, Rachel would have to see this woman again and instead of being able to really express how she felt about finally finding her mom and wanting to have a relationship with her, Rachel would have to wear her "poker face" and keep a distance from the mom... seeeeeee, deep, I told yall!!

Ok, so in the end, I just decided that I would not let Gaga's meaning cloud what I think the song means for me. I can make up my own meaning. One that fits me and suits me better, and then I can again enjoy the song. I feel like the song is definitely a love song. But its also about woman's liberation! - not allowing a man to have control over a relationship. You cant always show him your "hand" before you know how he feels about you. Ofcourse there is always that womanly submissiveness that we have to show. But before you are sure about a relationship you cant always put all your cards on the table. Take some time to let the relationship grow, and then "show him what you got"! You know, "dont let him read your poker face." In alot of cases when you show all your cards to early in the relationship, you run the risk of allowing a man to take advantage of you. So in the end, for me, the song is also about a woman's strength and patience. Allow yourself to be appreciated by a man. The song is teaching about having some standards. I think I like this meaning better. I could ramble on about what I think the song means, but I hope yall got it, atleast from that aspect...

Until later... [another aspect of the song] I will be wearing a serious "poker face" tomorrow at a Bridal Shower that I am attending. My emotions are still very tender about the whole baby thing. (Hubby took me out to dinner tonight and I cried just looking at pregnant women and women with small babies and toddlers. It made me really sad.) I just feel like I lost so much. So at the bridal shower there will be atleast 2 pregnant women, both friends, and I am sure that I will be sad.. so I will be wearing a serious POKER FACE!.. along with this outfit.


Renée T. Bouchard said...

My heart is breaking for you right now. That post brought a tear to my eye. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers this weekend, but I'm sure your friends would rather be there to support you through this time than have you put on a "poker face" for them. Allow yourself the right to be sad- losing a baby is a very difficult thing to get through. Hang in there. I'm sure you'll look stunning, too- yellow really is your color.

cheeky curves said...

Losing a baby is like losing a part of you and you need time to grieve the loss of your baby and time to heal.

Being strong for others does not always mean being serious, the strenght is that you are willing to face the challenges, the hurt and the sadness you see and feel.

Be kind to yourself, and allow all those emotions to be felt, its not self pity, it is acceptance of who you are and how you feel. Your friend will understand and their embarrassment will only be their way of sharing your pain.
Wishing you time and space to recover. XXX

Eve said...

I totally agree with Renee and Cheeky, you can show your emotions, and your friends will understand and most likely wouldn't want you to put on a "poker face" with them and for them. Be natural. And I'm sorry you lost your baby.

With that song, that's so cool that you did look up the lyrics and GaGa's meaning of them. It's not prudish at all to know what you stand for and what you don't, so even if you don't like the lyrics (I don't either) you are aware of the message it sends out and then have to decide whether it's what you want to send out too.